instead of taking birth control you can have sex at night bc the sperm are asleep + you won’t get pregnant
Are you a U.S. senator?
when you meet someone cool
when that person thinks you’re cool
when you become cool friends with that person
when you do cool stuff together
the weird thing about internet friends is that you don’t know how tall they are
the road to success is under construction
I cant believe justin bieber poisoned our water supply, burned our crops, and delivered a plague unto our houses
No, but are we gonna wait around until he does!?
The first person to discover static electricity must have been shocked
why allow urself to be full of hate when u can be full of pasta instead